Extreme Makeover – Galatians 5:22-23
We’re in week four of our series Extreme Life Makeover.
The TV show – Extreme
Home Makeover. Impatience – have to get
this done in 7 days! – Video Clip.
We’ve been looking at Galatians 5:22-23, 25 at the fruit of
the Spirit. “When the Holy Spirit controls our lives He will produce
this kind of fruit in us: love joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
faithfulness, gentleness and self control. If we are now living by the Holy
Spirit, let us follow the Holy Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.”
When it comes to impatience all of us have the way that we express our impatience. Let’s call it our default reaction. What I’d like to do is go through a list of how people do it and I’d like you to vote saying, “That’s mine.” Raise your hand. Keep track of how many times you raise your hand. When you get impatient, how do you react?
Who gets verbal or gives out body language? That’s the yell and scream approach. Of also the deep sigh – rolling the eyes – crossing the arms.
You get physical. That means you like to hit or shake or throw something, or maybe slam a door.
You get hypertension. High blood pressure is the common phrase. I like to refer to it as the little vein that pops out and throbs and scares little children.
You get overly frustrated. Your car horn is a weapon. Anything nearby.
You pout or get moody. The silent treatment until you get your way.
You judge. It’s always somebody else’s fault. “She makes me so mad.” You blame. You judge.
You grab the sports page and you lock yourself in the little office with the porcelain seat.
How many of you didn’t raise your hand at all? I want you to come up and preach the message! How many of you are sitting next to somebody who should have raised their hand more? How many of you are so impatient that you want to get up now and get a head start and move to the parking lot?
What’s funny about this is I can get you doing this and laughing a little - admitting there are things that obviously that trigger our impatience. What are some things that make you impatient? Traffic. Kids. Waiting in lines. Being late. Procrastination. Waiting for your wife. (Who said that?) We have impatience triggers. Some that are general and some that are specific to you. I think there are three universals that I really want to talk about. Some universals that trigger our impatience.
1. Relationships
Nothing seems to test our patience like those closest to us and those that we love the most. Did anyone lose their patience today getting ready for church or coming to church? I see it up from up here all the time. People sit there angry. They don’t listen to the message. They don’t sing. They want to punch a greeter. Something has happened in their family that has triggered them for whatever reason. A kid might have been running late, there was a wardrobe malfunction. Something happened. Relationships can trigger our impatience.
2. Life circumstances
This would be something like you’re battling an illness that isn’t going away. Or you’re frustrated and impatient because you’re still looking for the right mate when you think you ought to be married. Or you’re in a financial problem that you just don’t seem like you can dig yourself out of. The picture that comes to my mind is running on a treadmill and not being able to get off and saying, “When is this going to end?” There are life circumstances that trigger your impatience.
3. Stupidity
This is when someone does something that makes you stop and say – “are you serious?” For example:
The supermarket. I’m in the express lane. I have two things. The guy in front of me has sixteen. I counted. I counted the banana bunch as just one, not seven! The sign says ten items or less! That would be in the stupidity category.
Comedian Bill Engvall makes a living off this – “Here’s Your Sign” – For example . . . Tuesday, before softball, I go to the convenient store. I put on the counter sunflower seeds. This clerk behind the counter, says to me “Do you want to buy these?” What I wanted to say is “No, I don’t want to buy this. I want to buy everything else in the store but this. I just wanted you to be able to set this aside while I pull up the truck and buy everything else in here. Here’s Your Sign!”
These triggers, whether they’re relationships or circumstances or stupidity, they’re beyond our control. They come unannounced, unwanted, and unprepared for. They trigger our battle with impatience.
I want to look at the picture of patience, the biblical picture, of what patience is. I want to look at the problem that keeps us from it. And then I want to look at the plan of how we can better let the Holy Spirit grow patience in us.
The Picture
Let’s look at the picture. This is the biblical picture of patience. In the N.T., there are two words that are translated in English as “patience.” They’re kind of synonyms of one another. One biblical word for patience conveys the idea of self-restraint that doesn’t retaliate. It’s “having a long fuse.” The other word carries the idea of “hanging in there” or perseverance. So there’s two words that are kind of synonymous – having a long fuse and hanging in there.
We understand why God would want us to have a long fuse because when we have a short fuse we hurt other people. Ecclesiastes 7:8-9 - “Patience is better than pride. Don’t be quick tempered for anger is the friend of fools.” But this idea of hanging in there, this has to do with endurance and perseverance and having some lasting power through tough times. James 5:8 says “You too must be patient and take courage for the coming of the Lord is near.” Hang in there. Don’t give up. God is behind the scenes working. You’ve got to learn to wait on what God is doing. That is the biblical picture of patience.
Why is this a fruit of the Spirit? What does God want to do in my heart and in your heart with patience?
Let’s keep looking. What else does the Bible say? Patience reflects love. 1 Corinthians 13:4, the chapter of what love is all about. The very first thing it says is “Love is patient.” Ephesians 4:2 -“Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” Love and patience are connected. Isn’t that interesting? Sometimes those we love the most we are the most impatient with.
You know what else the Bible says? Patience leads to spiritual growth. James 1:3-4 -“For when your faith is tested your endurance [patience] has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you’ll be strong in character and ready for anything.” Wherever you are God uses time and trials to change us spiritually. If you think about the fruit of the Spirit, these nine that we’re looking at – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control – if you think about them, none of them are developed immediately. They all take time. So if you really think about it, it means that patience has to undergird the development of all of them. If they’re going to be developed in our life we need patience. Patience leads to spiritual growth.
Also, patience is rewarded. How is it rewarded? Think about how it might be rewarded today. It’s going to be rewarded because you’re going to have better relationships. You’re going to have more peace in your life. You’re going to be respected. In essence you will be more attractive. And that attracts people to God who makes these changes in us. So patience is rewarded here on earth.
The Bible also teaches that patience is going to be rewarded in eternity. That when we persevere, when we’re patient during trials, if you are persecuted for your faith and endure it, there will be a reward for that. The Bible says in James 1:12 -“God blesses the people who patiently endure testing.”
The picture of patience is very attractive. But like the other fruit of the Spirit it’s difficult to grow. When life throws you a curve ball why might you strike out with impatience? Because there are problems.
What are the problems that keep us from patience? What contributes to our impatience? There are many of them. But I want to talk about a few I think are relevant to us today.
1. Overload.
Everybody seems to identify with this. Why? Because we’re crazy! We try to cram too much stuff into our schedules and it results in a lifestyle that has no margin. It has no breathing room. We’ve overloaded our lives. We overload our finances and buy things we don’t have money for and just put it on credit.
Typically I’m a very patient driver. Why are you laughing? I really am.
About 90% of the time I’m a very patient driver. I would struggle more if I lived in
The image that comes to mind is the image of a cup. A great gag to play on a friend is when you’re in a restaurant and you refill someone’s water to the very, very top and then scoot it over to them so when they get it, any mismanagement of that cup causes spillage. I’m very fun to be with!
Here’s the deal with that picture. When you schedule your life so full you have created situations that force spillage. And that spillage isn’t harmless like water or a soda. The spillage that comes out is words of frustration. Regrettable actions. And it’s all because you’ve overloaded. That’s an enemy of patience.
2. Here’s another
one - expectations.
When you live your life filled with expectations you’re going to suffer disappointment and impatience. I’m not just talking about just unrealistic expectations but also just plain everyday ordinary expectations. Typically when you have an expectation and you attach it to a person, they will let you down.
I let people down all the time. I let people down and I don’t even know that I let them down. I don’t live up to their expectation. As a pastor I am telling you, I will let you down at some point. You have to be very careful. But we become impatient with others because they don’t live up to our expectations.
And if you really wanted to unpack this a little deeper, we don’t only place expectations on people, we place expectations on God. And for some of you, you live a life where you feel like God has let you down. Because He hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Even though in the Bible He never promises that. He never promises to fix whatever you’re disappointed in. Some people walk away from God and they walk away from the church and they walk away from their faith because they’ve placed these expectations on God. Some of you in here you are living agnostic lifestyles. You’re a believer, but you’re living as if God doesn’t exist because you believe that He let you down. And you’ve given yourself permission to live as though God is irrelevant all because of your expectations. When you lose your patience with God, your patience with others decreases as well. Expectations can be a nasty thing.
3. Pride
Pride is an over inflated view of yourself and it impacts patience because you devalue other people. Impatience appears when my pride is challenged. When I think I’m better than that or I’m more deserving that that or I’m more qualified or, How dare they, or I deserve better treatment. When my pride is triggered what happens is my ego puffs up and my impatience blows out.
C.S. Lewis wrote, “When two human beings have lived together for a while, it usually happens that each has facial expressions and tones of voice that are almost unendurable to the other.” I think I won’t talk about Lori and I on this, so I thought I could share some things from my kids. – Ashley – ‘O…kay” – shows she does not agree with or value your opinion - impatience. Caleb – “Whatever” as his head shakes – same thing. Alyssa – just goes to her room. You all have things you do when you don’t like someone else’s opinion or plan for you.
Let’s move on to ...The PLAN – how do we begin to let the Holy Spirit grow His patience in our lives?
1. You reflect before you respond.
If you’re going to let the Holy Spirit grow patience in you, you have to have reflection. Because reflection gives you that necessary perspective that opens the door for patience.
This is deeper than a breathing technique. This is deeper than just counting to ten. I can count to ten very fast and I can still be ticked off after I get there. Impatience is typically that knee jerk reaction where I haven’t allowed myself to think and go inside to see what’s broken about me that I reacted like that. The only way to find that out is to reflect.
The reason that I can tell you that 90% of the time I’m a very patient driver is because I’ve reflected on this. I’ve watched people’s eyes and I’ve heard their voices and I’ve seen what happens in cars when people go nuts and I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ve come to the conclusion of a few things. One, all drivers are idiots at some time. All drivers. Two, I am a driver. Therefore (don’t you love logic?), I will be an idiot at some time. Nobody can disagree with that. That is truthful. We all make mistakes when we drive. So why is it that I would get mad and go nuts at that guy for what he did today when I’m probably going to do something stupid before long myself? That’s perspective that comes from reflection.
And when I reflect, what happens is I delay what’s natural so I can respond with what’s spiritual.
Proverbs 14:29 - “Those who control their anger have great understanding.” Understanding helps me realize that patience is more than an etiquette technique to learn. That I must reflect upon that situation and why I lost my patience. If I don’t reflect I’m a fool. Because I’ll probably have to face that situation again. If I have no reflection I’m never going to get to patience.
If you’re sitting there and thinking, “If I reflect before I respond, but I still have to respond. So how should I respond?” If you’re thinking that you’re very intelligent because that leads us to number two. And if you weren’t just pretend you were. So you reflect before responding and…
2. You respond
with prayer
I know that to say prayer can be such a cliché. Let me explain to you why I believe this gets at the essence of impatience. When something triggers me, whatever it is, I can reflect. Is my life overloaded? Is it pride? Is it about me? Is it about them? What’s going on? I can reflect.
But then what do I do? I still have to choose how to respond. I can invite God into the process. A simple prayer like this, “God, I need a long fuse right now. Because I don’t want to hurt other people and I don’t want to hurt myself. God, I’ve learned enough about patience to know that with patience you’re trying to do something in me. So Lord, would you take this situation that I’m in right now and would you make it an operating table and go after my heart.” That’s what prayer does. Just inviting God into that process.
If God’s Spirit lives in you, you can rely on Him. His presence continually throughout the day is the only thing I know of that is going to help you with patience. But as soon as we say “prayer,” many of you checked out. You’ve already heard that, you already know you’re not very good at it.
Let me take a survey. But first, I want you to give yourself a grade on your prayer life. I want you to grade your prayer life – an A through F. You don’t have to share it or write it down. Just in your mind give yourself a grade. Now I want you to raise your hand if you gave yourself a grade less than an A. It’s pretty much everyone. If we were grading on a curve, that would be great, wouldn’t it!
But here’s what happens. People say, “I’m not very good at prayer,” so they neglect it. But if I said to you, “Would you like to have a better relationship with God? Would you like to live your life just feeling like you were connected and close with God at all times? Do you want the Spirit of God who resides in you to mold you and shape you? Most of you would say yes. But you think, “But I’m like a C at that.”
I look at that guitar. I’ve wanted to be good at the guitar. I’m about a C at guitar. I know quite a few chords. I have a notebook full of songs. I can pick up the guitar and play all of them, but I’m a C. Right now, I’m not even making progress – an effort to get better. I have made a lot of effort in the past, but right now I’m kind of stuck.
Think of prayer. We think that when we pray, God hears noise. But He doesn’t. He sees effort. When you pray you may think you’re a C. You know what God hears? God hears your prayer and He sees the effort of your heart. God’s not saying, “Your prayers, they’re so short. They’re so immature. They’re so uncreative. No wonder you struggle with patience! Depart from me, evil sinner!” No. Your words, your effort, your prayers are like music to God’s ears. The only way I could ever become a better guitar player is to keep playing and keep practicing. The only way prayer is going to become natural and influence your impatience more is for you to keep praying, and practice the presence of God.
I’ve told you this prayer before: “Thank You God for standing by me so far this day. It’s been tough, but so far, with your help I have not been impatient, judgmental or lost my temper. But, Lord I will be getting out of bed soon and then I am really going to need your help.” I love that! Start in bed. Throughout the day just bring God into that situation and say, “God change me. Help me. Help me have a long fuse, to persevere.” Philippians 4:6 says, “Don’t worry about anything. Instead pray about everything.” So I reflect before I respond. And then I respond with prayer. But then “What am I praying about?”
3. You pray for His kingdom to replace yours.
When I go through life looking through my kingdom I see irritations and interruptions. But when I go through my day and I see things through God’s kingdom, and I see myself as His servant, I see appointments that God wants to use me for.
So the idea of “kingdom” I realize can be difficult to grasp. I need some help from somebody up front. (Ask a woman to give me her purse). I can’t believe you trusted me with this! This has got zippers, all these different zippers that I could go through. How many am I making feel uncomfortable right now? Mostly the women. The guys are like, “Dude! Go ahead - pull stuff out!” What I’m doing is I’m messing around with her kingdom. Guys, the reason I can’t mess with your kingdom is I’d have to go to your house and take the remote control! But what I’ve got in here – she’s probably got a wallet, driver’s license, some money, keys, some kind of schedule book or PDA, a cel phone, pictures of family. This is her kingdom. Your kingdom is what you are in control over. She’s in control over what’s in here. You get the picture?
Let me explain something. A difference between a Christian and a non-Christian is that a Christian at some point in his or her life has come face to face with Jesus and said, “Not my kingdom but yours. I sign over ownership of my kingdom to You, Jesus, that you would be the Lord of my life.” Then God promises that His Spirit comes into our life and begins to change us and make us more attractive.
You might say, “What are His kingdom principles?” If you were to read about what Jesus taught
about His kingdom in the New Testament you’d find all kinds of crazy things
that Jesus said - radical things about His kingdom. He said, when people tick you off the natural
way to act is not how I want you to act.
My kingdom principles are different.
As a matter of fact, when somebody slaps your face, turn and give them
the other cheek. He says when somebody
asks for your coat give them your shirt as well. If somebody forces you to walk a mile
carrying their stuff, I want you to walk a second mile voluntarily. As a matter of fact, Jesus says this, “When it comes to your enemies, I want you
to love your enemies and I want you to pray for those who persecute you.” What He was doing was He was contrasting
the
What do you pray for?
You pray for the
If I do my will when I become impatient, I’m going to hurt somebody and I’m going to hurt myself. I’m just going to get myself in an awkward situation. Instead I say, “God, may Your kingdom come here on earth in me as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:33, “He’ll
give you all you need from day to day if you live for Him and make the
When I make the
God wants to help with your patience, and He has a lot of practice with patience. He’s always expressing it toward you and me. 2 Peter 3:9 says “The Lord is patient for your sake.” Some of you came here today and you’ve never transferred ownership with God. He is waiting patiently for you to do that. He wants you to trade your kingdom for His. That’s what He does best. Those of you who are believers in Jesus, He’s waiting patiently for you to change, to submit to the Holy Spirit’s leading for you to grow so He can use you more effectively to attract others to Him. What step do you need to take today?