Extreme Life Makeover – Galatians 5:22-23; 25
Kindness
Ok, week five of this series. As God is helping you to see the new life he wants in you, I hope there is both tearing down of the old going on and a building up of the new. It is not an easy process. As Butch and Leah just shared, it can be a messy process behind the scenes. But the finished product is worth it.
Galatians 5:22-23, 25 – “The
Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace,
patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There
is no law against these things! Since we are living by the Spirit, let us
follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.”
One day a man came to Jesus and said “Lord, what's the most important verse in the whole Bible,” Jesus said “Love God and love your neighbor as yourself” That's the whole essence of Christianity. That summarizes the whole law and all the prophets Jesus said.
Jesus was saying that nothing matters more than relationships - your relationship to God and your relationship to other people. You can be successful in every other area of life and if you're failing in the area of your relationships the Bible teaches “success + failure at relationships = failure.” In John 13:35, He said, “Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” Not that you have Bible knowledge but that you love.
There is a word for love in action, and it's called kindness. That’s our focus today.
Video Clip –
Groundhog Day
Kindness is simply love in action. It's not a feeling. It is something you do. When you're kind you take action, you move, you're practical, you show love in a practical way. Kindness is so important that God sent us an example named Jesus Christ. Titus 3:4 tells us that Jesus is “the Kindness of God.” If you want to know what kindness is just look at Jesus. He's the kindness of God. John 13:15 says “I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you.” God never asks you to do anything for anybody else that He hasn't already done for you Himself. That is a key to understanding the fruits of the Spirit. They are all things that God has demonstrated to us personally.
I want to share four ways that God shows His kindness to us. Once you understand how Jesus is kind to you then you will know how to be kind to other people.
How is God kind to
me?
1. He understands my weaknesses.
Understanding and kindness go together. The more understanding you are of a person, the kinder you're going to be to them. That is why it is easier for you to be unkind to strangers.
For instance, going back to last week – that 10 percent of the time I am impatient when I drive . . . I can be tempted to give “the Weber look.” It has been handed down through generations. It can be effective. If someone pulls a real idiot move on me, when I pass them or come to a stoplight beside them, they get the look. However, if I knew the person who made the bad move, I would probably assume they made an honest mistake and would understand that and would probably just wave at them when the opportunity came.
So, living in
Hebrews 4:15-16 – “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”
He's saying, Jesus isn't shocked when you are tempted, when you struggle with a temptation He doesn't think less of you. Why? Because He's been there. When you go through a weakness and a problem you want to be with somebody who understands where you've been or what you're going through. When Jesus came to earth, the Bible says, He was tempted at every point the same way we are. So when you come and say, “God, I'm struggling in this area,” He doesn't say, “Just shape up!” He's not a drill sergeant. When you're struggling with a temptation or weakness in your life Jesus says, “I've been there. I know what you're talking about.” Because He understands our weaknesses He's kind.
It's not a sin to be tempted. It's a sin to give into temptation. Jesus was tempted, but He never gave in.
What does this have to say about how we should be kind to other people?
Galatians 6:1 – “Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.”
Here's the first way to be kind. Be gentle and not harshly judgmental. When people are having a tough
time, dealing with issues, having problems and they've got weaknesses and are being tempted, be gentle with them. Why? Because God is gentle and kind with you. He's understanding of your weaknesses and you're to be understanding of the weaknesses of others. That's kindness.
2. He tells me the truth.
John 8:32 - Jesus said, “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free.” Jesus loves you just the way you are but He loves you too much to let you stay that way. So He tells you the truth. God's Word tells us the truth. First, it makes us miserable, but then it sets us free. We don't like to hear the truth about ourselves if it’s not good. We just like to hear good stuff. But because Jesus is kind, He levels with you. He tells you the truth about yourselves, your motives, your relationships, sin, what's right and what's wrong, ... not necessarily whether it's politically correct or not.
One thing I like about the Bible is that it is so gut level honest about the heros. Most biographies gloss over the weak points of the person. But in the Bible when it says things like, “David was a man after God's own heart” it also says he had a guy killed so he could get his wife. Blatantly honest. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for somebody is tell them the truth. Progress comes as a result of feedback. Since no one is perfect we all need to be corrected. We all need somebody who'll level with us. Jesus tells us the truth in kindness and He wants you to tell other people the truth. It's the kind thing to do.
Ephesians 4:15 tells us that as we grow up in Christ we will “speak the truth in love.” The way you can be kind is by caring enough to confront, to tell the truth, but to do it in a gentle way. What is it in your relationships that you're pretending isn't a problem? What is it in your relationship with your children, your husband, your wife, your friends that you're saying this isn't really an issue and you keep sweeping it under the carpet. That is not the kind thing. The kind thing is to speak truth with that person.
The number one thing people seem to value in other people is honesty. A real friend will tell you when you're blowing it. A real friend says, “I'm not going to stand by in silence and watch you make the stupidest decision of your life. Don't do it.” A real friend walks in when other people walk out or when other people avoid the issue. It's kind to be honest with people because it's the loving thing.
Sometimes we need to hear the truth even when it's painful.
If you have major heart disease and go
see the doctor, what do you want him to say, “You must have surgery right now
or you'll die or
“Don't worry, be happy?” You want him to tell you the truth even if it's
painful at first.
Jesus understands your weaknesses so He doesn't blow you away, but He loves you more than just understanding. He'll also tell you the truth on how you can change.
But as Ephesians 4:15 tells us, we should speak the truth in love, even if it is rebuke. What does it mean to rebuke in kindness? What's the difference between critical rebuke and kind rebuke? The difference is motive. When you rebuke somebody, confronting a person, are you doing it to put them down or to build them up? Are you doing it for their benefit or your own? To condemn them or to protect them? As parents, we have to learn how to affirm our children while correcting the behavior. There's a balance there. So you rebuke in kindness. You speak the truth in love
3. He forgives my sin.
Because He's kind He forgives my sin, my faults, my mistakes, my errors. So He is a forgiving
and gracious God because of His kindness. Some people think that God's out to get them. Some of you who are even believers whenever you have a problem you start thinking, “God's getting even with me.” Does God really act like this? Is He this grumpy grouch who carries grudges up in Heaven? No! That's why you've got to go to the Bible, and find out what He's really like. In fact, God so deeply wants you to know what He's really like, He came to earth, 2,000 years ago in human form. His name was Jesus. He came to earth so we would know what God is really like. One of the things that Jesus taught is God doesn't carry a grudge. He is not the God of shame. He forgives my sins. Because I deserve it? Not a chance. But out of His kindness, His grace.
I read about a pastor who had a lady coming to him every single week, “Pastor, God convicted me of this sin.” Every week, like sin of the week. Finally he said to her, “Does God ever say anything nice to you?”
Some of you were raised by unpleasable parents and you've taken that image and switched it over to God. That's not right. He is a forgiving God. Why? Because He is kind.
Romans 3:23-24 tells us that “For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard. 24 Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.” God, because He's kind, wipes out your record. He wipes the slate clean. There is no condemnation if you put your faith in Christ. That's good news!
What does that have to say about how I'm supposed to treat other people? God says, “Whatever I do to you, you're to do to others.” Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Do you find it easy to forgive or tough to forgive? Do you do it quickly or do you do it slowly? Do you let it go or do you just hold on to it? If you have a tough time being forgiving it's because you don't feel forgiven. Graced people are gracious people. People who have received God's mercy are able to be merciful to others. People who understand how much they've been forgiven find it easier to forgive others. Anytime I start having a difficult time forgiving somebody all I have to do is stop and remember I will never have to forgive another person more than what God has already forgiven me.
4. He affirms my worth.
Deep inside all of us have a deep desire to feel worthwhile.
We all want to feel significant. We all want to feel that we matter. We all
want to feel that if we were to die, somebody would miss us, that we're not
just taking up space and that our life has meaning and significance.
Have you ever imagined your own funeral? - Don't look at me like I'm weird, you've all done this. You imagined you have died, and you wonder how you will be missed, remembered.
We all want to feel worthwhile. In fact, you spend much of your life being motivated to do things that you hope will answer the question, “Do I matter?” So I go out for a sport, or try to get A's, or try to get the promotion, I just want to know “Do I matter?”
The truth is, no matter how much money you make in life and no matter how much success you achieve and no matter how much pleasure you experience and no matter how many relationships you have and no matter how popular or famous you become, how many community positions you serve on, none of it is going to matter until you've established a relationship with God through Jesus Christ and begin to discover how much you matter to Him and base your self worth on that. Nothing else is going to satisfy. Because as soon as you get the one thing you think matters, you've got to get to the next level. If that weren't true you'd have been satisfied with your first “A” . . . if you got one.
You've got to know you matter to somebody more than just a crowd. How do I know that I matter to God? There are three ways to know that you matter to God:
A. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every week of every year of every decade God is thinking about you. From the moment He decided to make you, He's never stopped thinking about you. You don't think about God all the time but He thinks about you all the time. Why? Because you matter to Him and He's interested in every area of your life.
Psalm 139:16 says, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.” That is amazing. The Creator thinks about me constantly and thinks about you constantly. That shows how much you matter.
B. He sent His son to die for you. Romans 5:8 says, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Do you want to know how much you matter, how much you're worth? Look at the cross. Jesus Christ says to you, “I care bout you this much.” God thought you were worth dying for. How many people would Jesus Christ come and die for? One, if it had just been you. Every time you wear a cross around your neck that is a symbol of your significance to God.
Isaiah 49:16 – “See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.” One day you can stand before Jesus Christ and say, “Jesus do I mean anything to you?” And He'll hold out His hands with nail scars and say, “This is how much you mean to Me. I have engraved you on the palms of My hands.” Psychologists tell-us that your self worth is based on what you think the most important, person in your life thinks about you. So whoever is the most important person in your life, what you think they think about you is where you get your self esteem. I want to suggest that you make Jesus Christ the most important person in your life. Nobody is ever going to love you more
If you base your self worth on what other people think of you, then you are going to collapse when you are criticized, rejected or ignored. But accept your self worth on the fact that God made you, loves you unconditionally, forgives you, relates to you – then it doesn’t matter what anyone else says about you, because they can’t take that relationship you have with God away. That is the right foundation upon which to build you view of yourself. God affirms your worth.
What does this say about me being kind to other people? I am to affirm the worth of others. Just as Christ affirms my worth, I am to affirm the worth of other people.
Romans 15:7 – “Accept
each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 – “Encourage
each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.”
How well do you affirm those in your life? Are you stingy with praise? If you were given a dollar bill for every person you affirm and God took away a dollar bill for every person you criticized would you be rich or poor? Ken Blanchard wrote “The One Minute Manager” and says, “Catch people doing something right and then affirm them.” There is tremendous power in kindness. It can literally change people.
C. He plans on lavishing even more kindness on you for eternity. Ephesians 2:6-7 tells us that “He raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus.”
Wow, that's kindness. Our world knows very little about genuine kindness. It knows an enormous amount about cruelty. It starts very early in life, and we get really good at it in middle school, and it never really stops, Just look at the most popular movies that come out. Millions and millions of dollars spent on movies that have nothing to do with kindness and have everything to do with cruelty. One thing our world needs right now is massive doses of kindness.
Illus: bumper stickers – “Do random acts of kindness” or “senseless acts of kindness.” I like that except for one thing. They shouldn't be senseless or random. They should be intentional and motivated by the kindness God shows us.
The Greek word for kindness is the word “crestos.” It is one
letter different from the Greek word “Cristos” which is the word for Christ.
When the church began 2000 years ago in the
In the obscure O.T. book of Micah, God reveals that what He
wants from us is really simple and basic. He says there, “O people, the Lord has
told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do
what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.”
Who could you be kind to this week? At home, at school, at work, a neighbor you don't even like, an enemy, a boss... Where could you show kindness? God has placed all kinds of opportunities on you to demonstrate love in action. Just open your eyes. Just look around you. There are people all around you with obvious needs who are waiting to be helped by you, because you've been helped by God.
Here are some suggestions:
- Take food to someone who is sick or just moved.
- Send an encouraging note to someone you appreciate.
- Do some repair work on the house of a widow or single parent.
- Take a person on a limited budget out to lunch or dinner.
- Take a mother of small children out to lunch and arrange for a babysitter.
- Send a missionary a gift.
God wants you to go out this week in the market place of the world where people are hurting and bleeding emotionally and physically and mentally and spiritually, where people are hurting with obvious open wounds, and he wants you to take up the cross. The whole business of Christianity is healing broken messed up lives. Christianity is not about just me feeling good and making my life easy, but it is radically others-centered. And the secret of that kindness is to experience God's kindness yourself.
Maybe the reason you have a hard time being forgiving and being kind and understanding is because you've never felt that from God and you need to realize how kind God is to you. When you honestly capture God's kindness to you, He is irresistible. You can't get away from it. Your self esteem is based on why the greatest person in your life thinks about you. Again, I urge you to make Jesus Christ the most important person in your life. Nobody will ever love you more than he does. No one. Some of you have been looking to other people to meet your needs that only God can meet and that's why you're frustrated. You need to say, “God I accept your kindness” if you haven't done so.