Extreme Life Makeover – Galatians 5:22-25

Gentleness

We're continuing our series on the Fruits of the Spirit as a picture of the extreme life makeover God wants to do in our lives.

Galatians 5:22-25 – “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives.”

Today we are looking at gentleness. Most of the men are probably ready to check out, “What is he going to say that I want to hear?” Gentleness isn't going to win any football games. It won’t usually get things done at the office. When I was putting this message together I thought “this could put them to sleep.” I started looking for synonyms of gentleness. I found two words: meekness (which rhymes with
weakness) and mildness and I knew I was in trouble.

We live in a dog-eat-dog world. We're in this survivalist mode. If we don't take care of ourselves, who's going to. When you hear gentleness you're probably thinking of Bambi meeting Thumper. It doesn't really smack of anything that has substance to it. It might be OK on Sunday morning but it's not going to work Monday at the office. Or will it? I think you're going to be surprised. I think there is a different power in gentleness that gets people's attention.

Many imagine having God’s power so they could get things done. But if we had that power without God’s character as well, it would be harmful and devastating. Remember the movie Bruce Almighty? That is an idea of God’s power at work without gentleness – power without proper control. In the movie, Bruce found that having all that power meant having a lot of responsibility. That included the responsibility of knowing when not to use the power he had on loan from God.

The best word picture from this word in the Bible to help us see what gentleness looks like is a wild stallion being tamed. A horse has incredible power. Have you ever seen what a horse can pull? Have you ever seen a horse kick something?

You Tube – “Falcon Kick” & “Horse Kicks Guy in the Face”

A horse has incredible power. But most horses are also gentle. They have been tamed to keep that power under control. That's what gentleness is. Gentleness is the power of your potential under God's control- It's being tamed by the Holy Spirit. God is the most gentle person imaginable. He has unlimited power, but it is under the control of his nature, character. He wants our power under control – His control.

What does a gentle person look like? How does a gentle person act? I find five things in the Bible that I think are characteristic of gentle people They are all things that have to be under God's control, and when they are, they will really help us to have healthy relationships. That's the payoff for being gentle. Gentle people can take a relationship that is weak or dying and it can be resurrected

1. Our Character under God's Control

Gentle people have their character under God's control. Character or character traits can make or break any relationship. What are some positive character traits that you like to see in other people? Honesty, Integrity, Humility, Sense of humor, Compassion. What about some negative character traits? Rudeness, Temper, Vindictiveness.

All of us if, we're honest, have some character traits that need to be worked on. Jesus' three closest friends had major character flaws and He didn't give up on them. Peter, James and John were Jesus' best friends. They were His inner circle.

Mark 10 kind of gives us a case in point. Jesus and the disciples were walking to Jerusalem and they had to stop off at a Samaritan village for the evening. Jesus sent a couple of them ahead, and once the Samaritans realized who was coming to town (Jesus and the disciples were kind of a hot item at this point) they didn't want to have anything to do with them. They said, “You guys can't come” (probably out of fear). So they came back and James and John were the first two to receive the news. James and John walked up to Jesus and said, “Should we call down fire from heaven?” These were not gentle guys. Then James and John's mom comes to Jesus one day and says, “Jesus, I want you to guarantee that my sons will set at your right and left hand, the two places of honor.” These guys were vindictive and arrogant. They had major character flaws.

And Peter, talking out of turn, always rushing into things, impulsive, always sticking his foot in his mouth, who cut of the high priest's servant's ear in the Garden of Gethsemene when they came to take Jesus away. It was Peter who pushed through, past John into the tomb. It was Peter who denied Jesus three times. It's no wonder in Luke 9:4 1, Jesus said “How much longer do I have to put up with you guys.” Do you ever feel like that, Moms and Dads, with toddlers running around the house? Do you ever feel like that, parents teenagers? Do you ever feel like just giving up, just can't take it any more?

But there's hope. The same thing that enabled Jesus to stick it out with the disciples is exactly the same thing that we can utilize to help us as well. It's this. Jesus saw the power of their potential, And Jesus knew that as they would give Him control over their personalities, as they would be realistic and honest about character defects in their lives that God could change, they would become powerful for the kingdom of God. And that's exactly what happened if you look at history These three men became the three pillars of the early church. Jesus didn't give up. They were a little raw at first, but He hung in there.

Ephesians 3:20 – “Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.” God can do anything, far more than you can ever imagine. He does it not by punching us around, but by working within us, His Spirit deeply and gently within us. Gentle people are people whose personalities, whose character traits are under God's control because they surrendered to God.

Take some time today to list your character traits that need to be honed off in your life that are hindering your relationships. Make a list of those things and commit those things to God Allow Him to change them. If you're having problems with the fruits in your life, you've got to look at the roots. The roots are deeply embedded within the soil of our hearts. The Bible says that our hearts in their original state are deceitful and wicked. You can't have the fruits without the roots. Jesus said in John 15:4 – “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.”

2. Our Outlook under God’s Control.

As our character begins to change, it has an incredible affect on our outlook, on how we see other people, How we see other people will determine two things- our attitudes toward them and our actions toward them. Our actions are largely influenced by our attitudes. Parents, you know what it's like to hear that certain cry from your child. The one that tells you this is serious. You drop everything you are doing immediately to come to their aid. Maybe it turns out to be nothing major, but when you hear that certain cry, you think “my child is in trouble, they need my help.” My outlook affected my actions.

In a similar way, that's what happens when our outlook comes under God's control. All of a sudden we start seeing and working for the benefit of other people, not just ourselves. We're not as concerned about ourselves as we are with others. A week ago, Judd called me on his way to town. He had just passed Lion’s Gulch trailhead on Hwy. 36, and saw a guy who had his car stuck in the snow there. Judd needed to get the kids to town, but he also wanted to make sure this guy was ok. Judd had spoken with this guy before and found out he is homeless, living out of his car. So he called me to make sure I could go down there and check on this guy. Now, Judd could have passed up that guy without a thought – or perhaps thought, “it’s not my responsibility.” But God had control of how Judd was viewing this guy and it meant he was going to find a way to make sure he was alright.

Philippians 2:4-5 – “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Jesus is the model. Jesus, when He came to earth, had our best interest in mind. The Bible says that without Jesus Christ we are separated from God for eternity. Jesus came to bridge that gap, restore that fellowship between us and God. It's as if He heard our cry, and all He could think of was coming to help us. When the way you look at other people comes under God's control you, all of a sudden, you start becoming a little more understanding. That's another characteristic about gentle people, they are understanding of others. They see where others are coming from. They're understanding of their weaknesses and limitations.

Something happens to us when we start reaching out to other people instead of just being concerned with ourselves. We start becoming caring and loving towards them. Gentle people are understanding not demanding. People whose outlook has remained outside of God's control can be very selfish people for the most part. The number one way to destroy any relationship is to be selfish. It works every time, without fail. James 4:1-2 says, “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you? You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.” James 3:16 adds, “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.”

We become gentle when our outlook towards other people is under God's control. As God begins to change us we become more understanding of others, more sensitive to their needs, not demanding our own way all the time.

3. Our Words under God’s Control.

All of us know the power in words. They can be destructive or they can build up. James 3:6 says, “The tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” No human can tame the tongue. That's why we have to bring our words under God’s control. Do you know how God controls your words? He first tames your heart. Our hearts have to first be changed by God in order for our words to be changed, in order for our actions to be changed.

Jesus said in Luke 6:45 – “A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart.”

One of the characteristics of gentle people is that their words are under control. They know the power of a carelessly spoken word.

4. Our Expectations under God’s Control.

When someone disappoints you are you gentle or are you judgmental? Your response will determine the health of that relationship.

Elijah was a great prophet of God. He had some great successes and some great failures. In 1 Kings 19 it tells us that Elijah had just had the most glorious day of his career. He had just defeated 450 prophets of the false god Baal and things were looking good. Except for one thing. There was this wicked queen named Jezebel after him for having embarrassed her in that way. For some reason he just lost it and started running for his life. He is exhausted from running, and he is angry with God and says he would just like to die than continue on like this, and an angel of the Lord visits him to feed him in the wilderness. Forty days later he comes to mount Horeb, and the voice of the Lord comes saying, “What are you doing here.” Elijah said, “I've been very zealous for you Lord, I've been doing all this work and I just can't take it any more.” God said, “I want you to go to a cave and wait for Me.” If you had just disappointed God and talked back to Him, and He asked you to go and wait in a cave for Him what are you going to be thinking along the way? Elijah was a little stressed. He was probably thinking God was going to come and say, “Elijah I'm really disappointed in you. You've had this great victory over all these prophets and then, one person, starts chasing you and you run for cover. What's wrong with you? After all I've done for you, you still don't trust Me!” or maybe he expected, “Elijah, I've had it with you. You are so weak and so timid I'm not going to be able to use you any more.” As Elijah was rehearsing these things in his head, the Bible says that the word of the Lord came to him. God said “Elijah, go out and stand before me on the mountain.” As Elijah stood there the Bible says in 1 Kings 19 that the Lord passed by, A mighty windstorm hit the mountain. It was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose. We know some strong winds here in Estes Park, but never one that torn rocks from the mountains. But the story tells us that the Lord was not in the winds. After the wind was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. After the fire there was the sounds of a gentle whisper. That's where God was. Isn't that great? Elijah was expecting a flying fist from heaven and God comes gently, not with judgments, not with condemnation.

The same is true for us. When we feel we have blown it, God is not waiting for you with clenched fists. He's waiting for you with open arms. Just like the prodigal son who came home after squandering half of his father's wealth, with his head hung in shame, fully expecting to get blasted by his dad. His dad didn't say, “See! I told you so! I knew you were going to blow it all!” No, he greeted him with open arms. He said, “My boy's home.” God wants us to run to Him not against Him.

Proverbs 15:4 – “Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” Ephesians 4:2 says “Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” When someone doesn't meet our expectations, when someone disappoints us, are you a raving wind that comes in and starts blowing everyone around, an earthquake that starts shaking people up, a consuming fire that rages all over everybody, or do you respond in a gentle whisper, with gentleness? There's power in gentleness. It gets people's attention. I think Elijah was shocked at God's response. Pleasantly shocked. And it spurred him on to continue to serve God. Gentle people have their expectations under God's control.

Dads and moms, don't too harsh with your children. As a parent I think this can be difficult. Kids may often fail to meet our expectations, but we need to strive to let our expectations of them be under God’s control. We need to be gentle, not harsh. We need to be in control of our response.

5. Our Response under God's Control

Gentle people are proactive not reactive. A proactive person is someone who is responsible. They are response-able. Able to control their response. Their response is a function of their decision, not their conditions. A reactive person is controlled by other people. They build their emotional lives on the behavior of others and they let the weaknesses in others control them. Reactive people are driven by feelings and circumstances, conditions and their environments. But a proactive person, although they are influenced by all of these things controls their response to other people. The term “You make me so angry!” Is that true? No. You choose and I choose to react. We say that we are able to do so many things in our lives, but we often deny that we are in control of our responses to other people's behavior. That just doesn't make sense!

Proverbs16:32 - “Better to be patient than powerful; better to have self-control than to conquer a city.” I want to challenge you, are you in control of your response?

How do we become proactive? To be reactive is more natural. Being in control of your response to other people has to be learned. Seek first to understand then to be understood. Seek first to understand the problem, to make a proper diagnosis before you make the prescription. When someone says something that hurts you, take a second and step back and think “What is going on in that person's life right now that is causing them to respond or react to me like that?” This doesn't mean that we all have to become junior therapists. I'm not asking you to psychoanalyze everybody. What I am asking you to do, what I'm challenging myself to do, is to empathize.

Proverbs 15:2 – “The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.” Empathy is listening to understand, to gain the knowledge of the situation, to gain the understanding of where that other person is coming from before you start reading your own ideas into that situation. It's making a proper diagnosis before the prescription. Empathetic listening is powerful because it gives you time to cool down and better information to make a decision from. I read Dr Stephen Covey's, 7 habits Of Highly Effective People. It talks a lot about integrity and character. He said, “Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival - to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated.” This one thing will revolutionize every relationship you have. Remember when you listen, you learn. The time you invest to deeply understand the people that you love and the people that you work with, interact with on a daily basis, reaps huge dividends in open communication. Gentle people are proactive not reactive.

Gentleness is the power of your potential under God's control. Gentle people are far from wimps. They're tapped in to the source of the creator of the universe. Gentle people have been surprised by the mercy and gentleness of God. They can see that one fruit God wants developed in them is gentleness. They see it in God and allow His Spirit to grow it in their lives. They are willing to give that mercy to other people. It's true that gentleness probably won't win any football games. But it will score high points in each of your relationships. I am convinced if you will take these five things and honestly apply them to your lives, it will make a difference. If you want to change somebody else, change yourself first. Bring yourself under God's control and that will radically transform your relationships for the better. This extreme life makeover God wants to do in each of us requires that we surrender to His control

How do you come under God's control?

First, you surrender you life to Jesus – place your faith in Him to do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

Then you follow Jesus – model your life after his. He was both the most powerful person and the most gentle person. His power was under the control of the Father. (Philippians 2:5-11)